Removing Negativity

The one thing that we cannot control is how much time there’s in a day. So, do not waste one precious minute of it on something that is not fulfilling. If it’s not bringing peace or joy into your life, eliminate it.. Don’t worry about hurting people’s feelings. You matter. Take care of yourself first.

The one thing that we cannot control is how much time there’s in a day. So, do not waste one precious minute of it on something that is not fulfilling. If it’s not bringing peace or joy into your life, eliminate it.. Don’t worry about hurting people’s feelings. You matter. Take care of yourself first.


Lupe & Brian:     Welcome to another episode of Sjogren’s strong. .

Brian:    This is Brian.

Lupe:     And this is Lupe.

Brian:    And this is your weekly show discussing living an active and healthy lifestyle despite a diagnosis of Sjogren’s Syndrome.

Lupe:     And today we want to talk about removing negativity from your life.


Brian:    And we’re going to start off with a quote from Forbes Magazine by a core contributor named Fabian Vandenberg, and it reads, “If you constantly experience negative emotions, you will be subject to stress and more sensitive to stressful situations. Being positive is the best defense against stress, after all”.

Lupe:     Negativity can be anything. It can be family, people, friends, things, situations, relationships. But most importantly, I believe it’s mindset. So, identify the people or things in your life that are negative.

Lupe:     I’m going to give an example. A few months ago, I went into all my social media accounts, Facebook, Instagram, that’s really all I have. And I started cleaning it up. I started with people that just post negative things, right? So, I did that because just seeing the post, sometimes it wasn’t even negative. It was just the person that bothered me, right? Because they really have nothing positive to say.

Lupe:     And that goes the same for this person in gatherings, whether friends, it could be family. If the person has nothing positive to say and all they say is negative stuff and it kind of brings you down. Just stay away from them, you know?

Lupe:     That’s what I. And I’m talking in particular, it was one person. And at the beginning it was a little stressful. They’re going to get mad at me. And now thinking back, actually over the weekend, I just felt a lot of peace. Because I don’t see post anymore and that’s helped me a lot.

Brian:    You know, this can also be attributed to the workplace and I know especially in today’s society it’s about acceptance and not hurting anyone else’s feelings.

Brian:    However, if you’ve been in the workforce for awhile, you’ve been in situations to where you’ve had to work with or near somebody that was this individual, that just exuded negativity. And I’m of the opinion it is okay to have an adult conversation and just ask that individual to stay away from you, unless it’s work related.

Brian:    And remove yourself from situations to where they’re telling the stories that don’t apply to work and that they’re not positive and they’re not inspiring. And I feel it’s okay to take that. You need to take care of yourself first. And by removing negativity from your life, you’re taking better care of yourself.

Brian:    There’s a quote by Jim Roan that reads, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. And I kind of take that to heart and I do my best to surround myself with people that are better than me. That I feel are better than me. People that I can learn from, people that inspire me or motivate me.

Brian:    And this is something I’ve done for years. And if you’re not that person, if I don’t feel I can learn from you, and I guess that might come across a little harsh. I have people that I feel I mentor, that I take under my wing. However, I do my best to spend a considerable amount of time with people. I feel I can learn from people that I feel can make me better.

Lupe:     Um, I want to take it back to the workplace. If you work in a place where it’s negative, for example, me, I’m going to give an example. Okay?

Lupe:     I try to avoid water cooler talk because it’s all negative. It’s all about talking about people. So and so did this. Oh my God, did you see what they were wearing? It’s all negative and I don’t want to have anything to do with that.

Lupe:     Sometimes people, they just gossip about whatever, nothing to do with work. So, what I do to remove myself from the situation, cause obviously you are at work, you can’t just get up and leave. I put ear buds in my ears, right? And I’m listening to music, the radio, just anything. Sometimes they’re just in my ears cause they kinda drown out the gossip. And I just work and then they leave you alone because they think you’re listening to something. So, I mean that’s helped me a lot. That’s an option if it’s aloud at your place of work.

Brian:    It’s funny you say that. I used to have a blue tooth ear device at a desk, I worked at. And when we were on the phone, the boom arm would swing down in front of our mouths. And when we were off the phone we would put it up to let people know we weren’t on the phone and it was okay to approach us, to discuss business.

Brian:    Well, we would see this one guy coming that was this negative individual, who would waste a lot of time. And we’d see him coming and just put the boom arm down and he’d walk on by, which was awesome. It worked well.

Lupe:     That’s awesome. Sometimes you’re having a conversation with someone, you know, you like ’em, you get along. You’re having a conversation with someone and here comes this Debbie Downer and she just wants to put in her 2 cents, you know and it’s, ugh, annoying.

Brian:    And if your name happens to be Debbie, we are not talking about you. Just a general term we’re utilizing to illustrate the negative individual.

Lupe:     Yeah! Speaking of work, I have an announcement to make! By the time this episode drops on Wednesday, I will have given my two weeks. I’m going to go work for a place that has a much more inviting corporate culture. People are friendly. Better working environment, which is really important for me. And I’ve had a lot of stress in my life lately, work related. And I feel, a wise man once told me, Mr Brian, he said the best time to look for a job is when you have one.

Lupe:     And I wasn’t really looking. It just kinda of fell on my lap and the opportunity was perfect. And so I’m very excited. And I’m going to have the opportunity to work with someone that I worked with 10 years ago, which is the person that referred me. And she had nothing but great things to say about me. And it’s because of that person that I got a job offer and I’m very thankful. And uh, I’m thinking of things, I need to get her something special. So, I had to really think about it. But, uh, yeah.

Brian:    For those of you who don’t know, and I don’t know if you’ve ever talked about it on the show, I spent time in the Marine Corps. And leadership has always been something I’m very interested in. I read a lot of books on leadership and Lupe and I, and other people, other friends and peers, we discuss leadership styles and you know, what’s going on at work and things like that.

Brian:    Some of the things that happen at jobs just blows my mind because it seems like there’s a lot of people who get promoted into a leadership role because they have more time at the job. Not necessarily that they are a leader or a good leader, nor do a lot of companies spend time educating supervisors and managers on how to be good leaders.

Lupe:     Or a people person.

Brian:    Or even a people person for that matter. And you know one of the books I’m reading right now, they say in it, nobody goes to work to be managed. People go to work to be led. And that kind of struck a chord with me, as well.

Lupe:     I want to say, to you Brian, thank you so much. Because I know that, uh, I have unloaded a lot on you, over the past several weeks. And you’ve been my rock. And I really couldn’t do what I do without you. So, I just wanted to say thank you.

Brian:    Hashtag team Lupe.

Lupe:     I appreciate you very much!

Brian:    And I, you. All right, enough sappiness there. No Kleenex required from this point on.

Lupe:     Ok. Did we get off topic?

Brian:    Just a little bit. I think that there’s one other thing that’s very important to discuss here when it comes to negativity and positivity.

Brian:    We all have conversations with ourselves in our own head. And I’ve done it, where I went, I can negotiate the garage in the dark. I don’t need to turn the light on. And this is obviously a mental conversation.

Brian:    And then the on the car is cranked out instead of straight and I bang into it. And you know, it hits right at my knee and kind of bends my knee back and it hurts a lot. And mentally I start cussing at myself, calling me things I’m not going to say on the air, but that’s self criticism or self critique.

Brian:    And I think it’s very important to slowly train ourselves to be constructive when we’re having these talks to ourselves in our head. And I don’t want to come off like, you know, I wake up everyday talking to myself in my head.

Brian:    But when we’re being negative, in our own minds, we’re not helping ourselves to feel better or be positive and we are causing additional stress in our life. So, we want to ensure that we, what movie was that? Where they’re looking in the mirror? I am good, I am great, I am beautiful. Or something along those lines.

Brian:    I’m talking to the man in the mirror.

Brian:    I’m not saying we need to go that far. Be mindful of what you think about yourself. And we all have good days. We all have bad days. I understand that and I get it. And I have bad days myself, but we want to motivate ourselves to be better humans. We don’t want to be that negative thing. Somebody else’s removing from our life.

Lupe:     Negative people or situations can cost stress, bring you down, cause depression. I mean it’s just a downward spiral. So, do what you can. And it’s not always easy, but do what you can. Try to eliminate it. Walk away.

Lupe:     I want peace in my life because stress really, really bites. I’m doing everything I can to remove it.

Brian:    Agreed.

Lupe:     The one thing that we cannot control is how much time there’s in a day. So, do not waste one precious minute of it on something that is not fulfilling. If it’s not bringing peace or joy into your life, eliminate it.. Don’t worry about hurting people’s feelings. You matter. Take care of yourself first.

Lupe:     Until next time, drink constantly and stay hydrated.

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